Choosing a virgin or an experienced lover

Wait to get married

Teach our children that God gave us the gift of sex to have children but also to become closer together

This morning I opened the cupboard at my work once again to see 8 glasses and only one that appeared clean and clear. The rest of the glasses have hard water deposits and for some reason there is one crystal clear glass left and that is the one I always choose because it looks cleaner and I feel better drinking out of it.

Comparing the glasses and human behavior is not such a stretch in this case. Many kids really don’t care that they have a girl or boyfriend that has had sex with many others. They feel that they can learn new things from their partners and that experience counts, yet most boys get very jealous if the girl begins to show interest in other boys by talking to them and many girls also get jealous. I have a gay friend that recently confessed to me that he has been having an affair with a married man and the man’s wife does not know and my friend’s partner of more than 20 years does not know. I have no idea why he would tell me about this unless he needed to tell someone in order to get it off his chest. I was very disappointed in him yet not surprised. Infidelity is all around us and it destroys relationships.

Most of us would choose the clean glass and avoid the dirty ones yet when it comes to people it does not seem to matter as much now. Think about it, choosing a virgin would be much wiser because there is less chance that they have been infected with a disease yet children seem to ignore these things and just do what feels good. If you are Christian then there is yet another point of view. You may choose the girl or guy that has been involved and repented of his or her old ways and began a new life. It is also important to get checked for sexually transmitted diseases in between partners to protect you and your future partners.

Many of the youth call us old fashioned when we try to tell them to wait to have sex until they get married and that they can form strong bonds and have a commitment with that person. They are full of energy and desire and don’t feel they can wait. Most of the youth have been exposed to sex since they were very young with movies and the internet not to mention nude pictures on their siblings phones and such. Teaching them about God helps them avoid some bad choices although some religions instill fear into people that they will go to hell if they have sex out of marriage. Others just point out that doing such things moves you further away from God and destroys lasting relationships so you should avoid those things.

My daughter’s friend told me that her group of friends started experimenting with sex when they were 12 and 13. When I was in Junior High we knew of two girls that would have sex with anyone and most of the other girls were virgins or kept their experiences very hush hush. Now in contrast you might be hard pressed to find one or two virgins in a Junior High school. What about all the young christian girls you ask? Well according to what my daughters tell me being christian does not really matter as much as apparently it used to matter.

With technology such as Skype young people often are encouraged to have video sex since it is much safer than the real thing although apparently skype is just the appetizer for them until they can get together later. Sexually active children have the desires that adults have yet they normally don’t have the money or the emotional maturity to live in a healthy sexual relationship. They feel they can use the day after pill when they need it and they can get it from planned parenthood or other sources without much effort. I am surprised that many young people are not informed about birth control methods. My daughter told me that she was at church and one of the girls that is 15 did not know what a condom was and my daughter could not believe that this girl could not know. The home is where you should learn about these things. It is difficult for parents because some parents feel that educating children about birth control is in essence giving them permission to have sex. Other parents say that the kids will be doing it anyway so it is best to avoid them getting pregnant. This is a hard call that each parent needs to make.

I have also explained to my children (5) that if you have been intimate with someone that before you have sex with anyone else it is very important that you go to the clinic or doctor to have blood and urine tests done for sexually transmitted diseases. Doing this will assure you that you did not get anything from your last partner and that you won’t be giving your next partner anything you don’t know about. It is not realistic to trust someone’s word that they have never had sex with anyone else and that they are clean. Sometimes the glass can appear clean and still be dirty. Get tested and if you are going to have sex outside of marriage then use birth control. If a condom is only 97 percent effective and then if you add foam to it and it becomes more effective then why not educate your children about these things. We recently watched a sex education program with our children and we learned that there are more methods available now than there used to be and the advice is wise advice. If you move on to your next partner and then end up giving them a transmittable disease how bad will you feel about it?

My wife believes if you buy condoms for a young person or if you put your daughter on the pill it is essentially like giving them permission to have sex which may be the case but not teaching them about these methods is also not wise. Other people disagree and say that these children are having sex anyway so we should have them be prepared rather than having them take the risks to get pregnant. I have a sister in law that got pregnant while she was on the pill and I have had other family members get pregnant even though they used condoms so it is best to teach children not to have sex with anyone until you are married and only have sex with someone that could financially take care of you and your future children. Sure this seems logical yet they are not thinking of the future. I understand that my children are different than I am. I know that they may not have the same beliefs that I have so I cannot expect them to follow the rules that I believe are right all the time.

My son’s friend recently had a baby and the boy who got her pregnant sometimes comes around to her house and sometimes gives her a bit of money yet for the most part she spends her days taking care of her baby. She dropped out of school and then she got a job yet the money she makes at work will not even pay for daycare for a new born so she counts on family to tend the baby while she is at work. Now she wants to finish school but can’t see how she could do it. She is able to get help watching her baby boy while she is at work but going to school would just be too much time away from her son. This same girl is undocumented and since she did not graduate from High School she does not qualify for the new program that President Obama implemented. As far as looks go, this girl could be a model she is that beautiful.

I have taught my children that Sex is a beautiful thing when used at the right time with the right person. Satan has a copy for everything that God has including sex. God gave us this gift not only for us to continue having children but also to bring us closer together to our spouse. When you have sex you can create a deep bond and connection with your lover. When you don’t marry and you continue to use this God given gift improperly then there are sad consequences. Having a healthy sexual relationship outside of a sacred marriage commitment is not God’s way. Some will argue that those that do not believe in God need not follow my way of thinking and that is true I would never force someone else to believe how I do yet taking God out of our schools and lives has hurt the country and destroyed relationships to a point where we need to bring him back into our hearts and by so doing we can begin to heal the country and ourselves.

Looking at porn or pornography also has affects on your relationships. Using porn as a substitute for a sacred sexual experience with your spouse will not build up your relationship and bring you closer. This type of behavior is destructive and will move families and people away from you rather than closer to you. Looking a so called perfect bodies makes it more difficult to be accepting of your spouse’s not so perfect body hence not building up the relationship between the two of you but making a rift. Most churches teach that this type of behavior should be avoided and this type of thing is such a destraction that it can lead to breaking families apart and really messing up our minds.

So what is the solution you ask? Teaching them the reasons and benefits to waiting helps. Teaching them about the health risks also helps. I believe that teaching children about respect, relationships, sex, logic,birth control methods, consequences and human behavior are very important although I also feel we can’t leave God out of the equation. I don’t believe we should use the old type teachings of telling Children they will go to hell if they have sex outside of marriage but we should focus on teaching them about God’s love and concern for each of us and how when we do these things that God is hurt and sad and disappointed in us. God wants us to be happy and for that reason gave us the 10 commandments in the Bible. These rules will help us not hinder us. Teaching them about these things will also help deter drug use. When it comes down to it, each child will make their own decisions and they will need to live with the consequences. Letting them know that we will continue to love them no matter what is very important. Letting them know that God will continue to love them no matter what is something we should not leave out. In a world where more people feel believing in God is foolish I continue to advise that we include God in our family life, teachings and practices.

Strange Spam and undesired links and comments

I have had over 20,000 comments so far and all of them but 20 have been Spam mostly about drugs and trying to sell them or porn. The recent article that talks large percentages of emails, comments and advertizing being spam makes it very clear that much of it is generated by computers and sent out like the plague. I thought by writing a blog I would get some readers that would start following what I wrote and eventually that might be the case. This blog is where I will direct many of those comments or in the case of the redirection where so called broken links or so called misdirected blog addresses appear I can send them here although since they are generated by a computer most likely no one will ever be directed here but a computer. The bots have been visiting my site and some misdirections have come from them and others appear to be someone trying to hack my blog which seems very unproductive to me since this is such an unknown site.

Political perception becomes reality

People often listen to what they hear on the radio or TV and assume it must be true. Often they only get one side of the story and then they are able to repeat back to others that opinion or those specific facts and by not including the rest of the facts they are indeed cheating themselves although many people don’t really want to know the rest of the facts because they are happy in their own little world of how they think and they really won’t consider the thoughts or ideas from someone else.

Many topics are not so simple that you can state a clear outline without presenting detailed analysis.

A good example of this would be why teachers in Utah don’t make more money and why we spend so much less per student than most states do.

Quite of bit of the education budget comes from property taxes and other taxes on both individuals and businesses. Some states that have gambling collect enough taxes from a lottery for their entire education budget.

Some people will give a quick answer which is not necessarily wrong by explaining that over 50% of the land in Utah is owned by the Federal Government and because of that we cannot charge (Tax) businesses which otherwise would be taxed so our tax revenue is much lower than most states hence the lower salaries and lower amount spent per student because Utah cannot bring in as much money as other states can.

Each issue in politics normally has more than 2 sides so often people will stick with their normal political position and they won’t budge although last week I heard an interview where a women studies major explained that even though she did not agree with Mitt Romney on many points she felt that the most important thing facing the Nation today is the economy hence she will vote for Mitt because she feels he is more capable of solving these issues. She also pointed out that though she disagrees with Mitt on issues such as abortion that even if he wins he won’t be able to take a woman’s right away to have an abortion so she feels it is a non issue.

Another woman spoke up and told her that settling on a president for one issue is not wise because that president often can appoint supreme court justices and affect many things without having the deal with congress. Executive orders and other routes can be far reaching so sticking with your party is best.

Another man explained that he does not feel he is throwing his vote away by voting for Ron Paul. He wants to send a message yet it seems very clear that by voting for Ron Paul that is one less vote for Mitt Romney or really one more vote for Obama and this conservative man does not seem to understand that simple concept so he is actually voting for almost the polar opposite of his values in many ways just by voting his conscience when he votes for a non viable candidate.

Republicans and Democrats try and tell you that their priorities are the economy and education yet both parties mislead you in specific areas and quote separate numbers to prove their points.

Another good example of this is Hispanic Voters feel overall that Obama represents their Interests better than Mitt Romney yet President Obama has deported more people than any other President and President Obama promised to address immigration reform yet he has done nothing except pass a temporary plan that is one way to get votes quick. President Obama for his first 2 years had the house and the senate and could have worked to pass immigration reform yet he did not. He claimed he was too busy with other issues such as the war and the economy. So voters have to decide to stay with President Obama or go with Mitt Romney many Hispanic voters are upset with President Obama yet they don’t feel Mitt would do any better in fact they feel he would do less or possibly pass laws that would hurt undocumented workers.

Now the perception of Mitt Romney not being a Christian should be addressed at least briefly. If enough Christians think that Mitt Romney does not believe in Christ does that make it true even if it is not true? Well my implication says perception is reality so in a sense the answer is yes. Even though Mitt’s religious values are centered in Jesus Christ, he belongs to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and partakes of a sacrament of Bread and water each week that has been blessed in the name of Jesus Christ and he reads the Bible and teaches his children about Christ and all his prayers end in the Name of Jesus Christ many Christians feel that Mormons are not Christian so they have decided to not vote for him. That is their right and perceptions do matter even when those perceptions are incorrect.

Quinceañera Hispanic Culture traditions

Princess in blue

Hispanic culture has some rich traditions for the 15th birthday of a young girl

I was at the peace gardens park taking pictures of a family on Saturday and three different quinceañera groups showed up in three limos. The family thought that these were wedding parties and I had to explain that they were not wedding parties but it is a tradition in many Hispanic cultures for young women when they turn 15 or (Quince) they become women and the parents and godparents throw a party for the girl.

The Catholic girls normally have a special mass before the party. Many times these parties are more extravagant than weddings. As you can see from the pictures the dresses are beautiful. Pictures are taken and invitations are sent out just like wedding invitations.

Another princess

Pictures of three different girls at the park on SAT

Three years ago we attended about 6 or 7 of these parties because that is the year my son turned 15. The girl normally decides on a group of young men to be her escorts and they rent or buy tuxedos and the damas or girl escorts rent or buy beautiful dresses as well. Normally a limo is rented and they go somewhere like the capitol or the peace gardens to take pictures and those are taken by a professional photographer.

The girl goes early in the morning to a salon to have her hair, makeup and nails done. Often the dances are practiced months ahead of time, I know because my son has participated in these dances. Later after the Salon, mass, Limo ride and pictures they go to a big rented hall that is decorated where food is served, more pictures and videos are taken, presentations occur and a show is put on and then dancing starts. Many times the girl will dance with her father for a special number. Sometimes beer is served at these functions and they have security checking ID for age.

After one of these parties the mother can then take a deep breath and finally relax because these functions are so involved and require so much time planning and decorating that the parents get very stressed out. Many parents save or years for these parties and the cost is normally from 5 to 25 thousand dollars when you include everything all together depending on how many guests are invited. Once we attended one at the fair grounds that had a professional band and about 500 in attendance.

back view

The food alone in a party of this type runs into the thousands and then when you add beer even more. Some of the families in my area only spend around 7 or 10 thousand. My daughter did not want one of these parties and when she turned 15 she was in Guatemala with her grandparents and she had a party with cake and friends but it was fairly small. There is peer pressure and it seems even a competitive spirit among some of the parents to have an better party than the last one they attended.

I don’t think that when a girl turns 15 she is woman yet although this is definitely a turning point in the girl’s life and how her parents treat her after that. I attended one specific mass in Spanish where I turned to my daughter afterwards and asked her what she learned and surprisingly enough she was able to give me several points of wisdom that the Priest has shared and I was impressed she had paid attention. So if you would like to add to this explanation of culture I would welcome it.

The Quince parties in my opinion are one of several traditions that show a deep commitment to culture and faith although I see that sometimes people go overboard and I suppose if you have the money or have saved up for it then I am all for it although I have also seen families that do not have much money and they end up going into debt for a large party that they cannot afford and that may not always be a prudent decision.

I mentioned that my daughter did not want one of these fancy parties although deep down inside I bet she did but she knew our financial situation and she was considerate enough to pretend she did not want one. Michelle won “Flower of the Fair” “Flor de la feria” in Guatemala and did have the opportunity to participate in more than a week long competition that included: Talent, Speeches, Riding Horses, being in parades, dance competitions, she was in the news and photographers took a host of pictures of her so she did have her princess experience after all.

My daughter at 15

Presidential Debate Oct 3, 2012


I took this shot at our local zoo with my old Cannon

My thoughts on the Presidential debate as a delegate are mixed. I was impressed with how Mitt presented himself and I felt that President Obama was not as prepared as he should have been. Both men were very nervous and President Obama looked down too often and Mitt’s eyes were blinking quite a bit and I don’t know if that was just nerves but Mitt came across very Presidential. After reading several of the fact check sites I was disappointed in both men when they quoted facts that were not quite the truth, although that should not surprise anyone because we are dealing with politicians.

I don’t think Mitt will get a big enough boost from this debate to get the electoral votes he needs to win although I felt he made the Mormons and the Republicans proud because he did not put his foot in his mouth.

I recorded the debate and took 3 hours to watch it and I also used a stop watch to time their remarks and both of them went over their time but Obama spent more time speaking than Mitt did.

So Mitt won the debate and I just wonder if he really could win would the democrats gridlock Washington like the republicans have? I was very disappointed in the republicans making statements that their main priority was to get Obama out of office rather than having their main priority to serve the country and move forward with the country.

Analog phone lines on the way out

Up until a few years ago most phone lines were analog and now almost all the new phone lines going in are digital.

Analog phone lines came into the building via copper wire and now digital can be on fiber, copper or other and the voltage and means of transmission is different.

In approximately 6 years analog lines will no longer be available and digital lines will be the norm. If you have digital or VOIP (Voice over IP) lines be aware that most current alarm systems using a DACT or dialer are not UL listed to use those digital lines for communications so signals get garbled and either don’t dial out or dial out misinformation. Many of the newer panels are UL listed and come with a port for the Internet to plug into.

Internet communication module

This module makes it so you can connect to the panel to change codes and programing and it also makes it so the panel can send signals over the Internet to the central Station

Different methods that can be used to replace the analog phone lines that are being phased out:

A. Radio communication (About $1000-$1400 in equipment and installation) not all sites can use Radio but there is no increase in monthly monitoring bills unless you finance the equipment then the monthly bill would be higher. This method is UL listed for Fire Alarm although you must be in an area that have enough coverage in order to use this method.

B. IP communication modules cost about $200 to $500 installed (Requires static IP address on network with port 7700 open coming in and going out) This poles every few minutes and this method does not increase the monthly monitoring bill. This method is also UL listed for Fire Alarm as long as the modules are listed for use with your brand and model number of panel. Some of these modules allow you to connect to the panel to make programming changes, see status and others do not allow this but they just send the signals out. Investing in a unit that will allow you to communicate both ways is a great benefit.

C. Cellular backup unit – About $300 to $600 depending on unit needed and it dials out when there is a problem but there is a $20 dollar a month cell bill. This monthly cost is in addition to the monitoring bill. This is UL listed to be used a secondary communication device but not as the primary communicator for Fire Alarm. If the phone lines are cut or if the Internet goes down then this unit can notify dispatch of an alarm. The cellular cost is about the same or less than paying for a dedicated phone line.

D. High Supervision Cellular unit – Primary communicator and this takes the place of analog phone lines but can also be used in conjunction with the IP internet as well. This unit dials out every 5 minutes so it meets the standards for Primary and Secondary for Fire Alarm and it can also be used for Security. This unit is about $600 and there is a monthly cellular bill of about $37 ($22 per month with Peak Alarm) since it dials out over 4000 calls per month. This cost is in addition to the monthly monitoring bill but you can figure a savings from not having to pay for dedicated analog lines.
Each facility is a bit different on cost depending on factors such as if you are monitoring a fire alarm, security alarm or both, location of the building and if the cell reception is good and if your internet service is reliable. There are different brands of cellular, radio and internet modules and the cost varies. If your panel has an internet module that will allow 2 way communications then this is an extra benefit. This means it can communicate out and will allow you to communicate from your Alarm Company to the panel over the Internet then codes and programming can be updated. Some internet modules only send signals out and do not allow 2 way communication so this has to be looked at because it can save you quite a bit in service fees so you don’t have to pay techs to come out to the site. 801 428 1384